Help!
My Kid Cries & Resisting Swim!
Common responses you will get:
Your child may need a snack!
Find something that stimulates your child
Find a connection
Ask leading questions
Fun, not force
Obvious signs of distress
Just get your child to do it
None of them worked. In fact, they cried louder, begging you not to send them for swim sessions. The next questions you start asking yourself:
1. Should I stop the swim sessions?
The best answer is probably not. It has been proven, "giving in" teaches our little ones that by crying enough they can get their way & training them to be resilient in the wrong direction.
Learning to swim is a life-skill, not only that it is a life-saving skill & every child should learn to swim - the sooner the better. Programs such as those in dip! are curated & involve character building, problem solving, discipline, composure, respect for nature, physical development (micro-muscles, coordination, motor skills etc.)
You are the parent. Is your prerogative. If you choose to avoid the issue, who is there to stop you. Having said, as in all aspect in life, discipline & consistency plays a huge part in "Success".
Give it some thoughts. Why start in the first place?
2. What can I do then?
Identify why your little ones often cry in swim sessions & discuss with your swim professional to create a sensible solution. Most "fear" surrounding swim sessions are not even related to the water.
Here are some of the common reasons they cry during sessions:
Separation anxiety
Stranger danger
Water phobia
Sensory overload
Big life changes (a new sibling, moving, starting school, divorce)
They are challenged to step outside their comfort zone
Learning Disabilities & Disorders (e.g, ADHD, Autism, ODD)
3. They cried. They hated swimming! Now they resist swim & refuse to come back for swim.
Again, you are the parent.
They did not volunteer to learn swimming for that matter, neither do they know what a school was till, one day, they were "made" to put on uniforms, wake up & go school early in the morning.
Bottomline, you decide if you want them to come back for swim.
I am all out for respecting the boundaries of our little ones & should be respected just the same as anyone else. But with the lack of ability to make wise decisions & when the line gets blurred between their wants, their needs & their entitlement, conflict arises.
In my previous article I touched on the topic of "Koala Swimmer", a problem to be solved as a handler.
This is where the swim coach as a professional comes into play to help balance & educate our little ones & the parent. If the coach cannot assess nor advise soundly, is time to engage another swim coach. Not all coaches are capable of behavioural corrections.
In some instances. removing parent from the equation might be the solution. Our little ones will focus on what is presented before them & start their journey to develop mental resilience & learn problem solving. They might be whining & crying for few sessions, but definitely they start learning faster. Very often, the little ones learn to be calm without parent intervention.
A very common sight is where parents rushed to extend their sympathy to their child once they see/hear whining & crying. I understand the difficulty, as a parent to seemingly watch their little ones cry their hearts out & just don’t want them to feel abandoned. Unfortunately, because of the brain development stage of our little ones, the outcome usually, is for that session not salvageable. They will usually escalate in their crying & the situation goes from difficult to impossible.
Conclusion
As parents, we want our little ones to be growing up happy & healthy, finding hobbies, sports & activities that they will love for life. We also want them to be safe in & around water. That is why you are reading this. Drowning is one of the leading causes of death globally for children & young people aged 1-24 years. Every year, an estimated 236,000 people drown. (WHO Statistics - 2022)
As parents sign up for swim sessions. We carve time out of our busy schedule & spend our hard-earned beautiful dollars so our little ones will obtain this life-long yet lifesaving skill.
It isn’t always an ideal experience & not every child love swim sessions all the time.
What do you do when your child whines & cries week after week, months after months about swimming? How do you know when to push your kids & when to take a break for a while? It’s a very thin, fine line & it isn’t always easy as is in parenting. In my previous article I mentioned learn-to swim reflects parenting. Go figure.
Ultimately, it is up to you as the parent to decide. It can take thousand tries (& I mean thousands) to get a kid to love splashing & swimming.
If parents find yourself using bribery, yelling or punishments to get your child in their swimsuit for sessions, it is likely time to take a break or remove yourself from the equation. Talk to your swim coach for recommended solutions. If you think to override your coach or not receptive to his/her idea, change a coach or you probably do not need one. Be your own coach.
It isn’t always easy to raise happy, swim kids but by taking a few steps back & having an open dialog, you can know when to push, when to take a break.
After all, you are teaching your child some valuable life sessions about perseverance, goal-setting & self-actualisation.
Forget the past that brought the cries, focus on the present that brings the smiles.
We provide 20 mins free online consultancy on swim development. Feel free to contact for more information on swim behaviour and progression.